Wednesday, May 25, 2011

For Sarai ;)

My lovely friend, Sarai, was bugging me today at school to write on my blog, so here I am! Instead of doing an essay, that is. ;P 


Today, in 5th period, I went to the bathroom.(and for what happened next, I hate myself) This girl was puking into the toilet. There was another girl there, one you could consider 'popular' or 'preppy' or whatever you prefer. I was scared. I always talk about how much of a good person I am. But I didn't do anything. The other girl was the one who asked her, "Are you okay in there?". But not me. why? I don't have a fuckin' clue. I really cannot explain how much every step from the bathroom made me hate myself more. I thought about going back, but... I didn't. That girl needed someone's help. She may have just said, 'oh yeah I'm sick' or some crap like that, but what if she wasn't... What if she needed someone to be there for her? I try not to beat myself up about it, but it's so hard. 
 


On a different note, I am finding myself attracted to different, new things. Things that are reallllly weird, but also really cute... ;) I love these shoes, I don't know why just yet, but I do. I'm being drawn to the more big, flashy things... but I don't have the money to afford them. Right now I'm just saving up for a car! Like I need to buy these 
150 $ shoes instead, that's more than I make in one paycheck. But don't worry, my loves, (which is Sarai[maybe nancy], Anna, and Jason) I will one day be a millionaire with all of the wonderful clothes Lady Gaga possesses... <3

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

All I Want...

Is a place. a beautiful, completely silent place where i can just sit and meditate, and not worry about time or material things. just to be. i asked my mom, because i am still simply sixteen, to paint my room a nice, pale blue. even if i paid for it, for the paint and the rollers and did it all by myself. she refuses, because i will move out in two years. but my older brother, for whom we built an entire room for and is a sophomore in college, keeps his room because he visits home. am i no longer allowed to visit home while i'm in college? i want a place to be. is that really too much to ask? to beautify a room that i can visit in my later years and still remember it as the place where i have grown? it seems this world is too focused on material things. yes, i do not NEED the blue room, but does my mom NEED the white one? do i really need a room at all? oh to lay under the stars on a warm summer night may be all i truly need, but when one lives where i do, there is rarely a warm night at hand. I know this post isn't like my other ones, but i just need a place to write. No one will read this, but that does not matter to me. writing opens my mind to different possibilities of my life, of things i can do but i do not realize. writing is a window to the mind, but meditating is a window to the soul.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Elephants, Lady Gaga, and Thoughts

I love elephants. That's probably why I have an elephant ring. They're so... powerful. I guess that's why I'm so attracted to big animals; the fact that they could kill me if they wanted, but they don't. There's just something really cool about seeing an animal that's bigger than your room, you know? I've never seen an elephant in real life, but my bucket list has a new addition: touch and/or ride an elephant. I'll let you know when that comes around. ;)




So, I kind of have a hero, inspiration, role model... and it's Lady Gaga. Not because she does drugs or sleeps around, but because of how freakin' ORIGINAL she is. She really isn't like anyone else in the world, and she's beautiful. She inspires me to be myself, and do whatever the hell I want, and just have fun in my life and not give a shit about what people think. I think that's a good thing to inspire someone about. To be original. Unfortunately I know some people who have no originality at all, and it makes me quite sad to think about how some people just can't think for themselves. Speak of the devil, a Lady Gaga song just came on my iPod.... ;)
















I have a lot of people in my life that I really don't care for, and I've decided that the best way to take care of that is to just erase them. Not wish them dead, or kill them, or hate them, but to just... Let them live their life while I live mine. It's a conclusion I'm sure we'll all have to face sometime, that our friends are not always going to be there for us, but it's a big part of growing up. Finding out what we like and what we don't, and being only sixteen I'm experiencing a lot of this. There are some things you'll never know about yourself unless you leave people behind and just go on your own. People will let you down; don't deny it. No one is perfect, and neither are you. Just relax and live your life how you want.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

Sometimes all there is to do is just sit on your bed and stare at the ceiling. It's the best thing to do when listening to some seriously calming, low-key music. There's something really awesome about just... not doing anything. Actually, being bored is good for your brain. It's when you have the most creative thoughts. 


So I got these amazing earrings... and today I realized what my favorite color is.. it's that really nice, teal color. A light blue that has a hint of green, you know? And I love slouchy sweaters. Got it at a church rummage sale, 2$. 

I promise you, rummage sales, thrift stores, and antique shops are my life. There's nothing quite like giving an old piece of clothing a new life. It's like, when old people do something really fun. Hehehe.

P.S. Another thing I love? Plays. Especially when it's by a school, a high school, and it's still really good. :)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I like clothes.


Well... yeah. I like crazy patterns and vintage clothes. I like to tuck in all my shirts, and roll up my pants. I love wearing weird-ass shoes, and lace; lots of it. I turn the shirt on the left into something beautiful; you should have seen it before. That purse... is my life. Squishy leather and knitted colors... oh yeah. ;)
These pictures are of me and my BEST FRIEND Anna, she has her own blog... The Meese, and the Geeses. :)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

About ME?

I have never really known what to say when someone says "tell me about yourself!". I just sit there with a blank look on my face and wonder what they want to know, and what they don't. I guess the question itself gives its own answer; you can tell a lot about a person by how much they talk, and by what they talk about. 
Have you ever had one of those days, where everything just seems to be going wrong? And then right when it seems to be getting better, it all just falls apart again? I think the best solution for that is some serious, heartfelt, good music. Bands that always cheer me up;





Monday, May 2, 2011

1st post/concert..

I know a lot of people who, when I told them I was starting a blog, instantly thought that it would completely self centered and about stupid things. Well, a lot of it probably will be. I try not to be self centered, but out of all the creature in the universe, humans are the best at understanding self obsession. However, I really like to know about other people; their lives, what music they like, what kind of clothes they wear... And I thought, well if I'm just going to read other people's blogs, why not just make my own? You never know how curious someone could be about you. 




And so onto my topic. I went to my first concert April 29, 2011. it was for a band called "Portugal. The Man" and I must say... IT ROCKED. Not gonna deny it. There's something about hearing a band live.. about being right up close and personal that's so... invigorating...